It has been a traditional virtue of the Chinese people to be thankful for and seek to return a favor. In recent years, however, a number of self-appointed gurus throughout China have been advocating the cultivation of a person’s gratitude consciousness with the title of “gratitude education.” Some of them even go so far as to hype the “gratitude education” to become a required course in schools. Despite its ostensibly benevolent purpose, such a request is nothing more than a new tactic used by the profit-seeking merchants to sensationalize themselves under the pretext of education.
Li Yang, the founder of “Crazy English,” once “moved” a few thousand students of a school to tears using the stunt of “gratitude education.” As a token of their gratitude, many students knelt down together on the spot, and some even volunteered to cut their hair short, which incurred intensive ridicule after pictures of the scene were posted public to his blog.
The feeling of gratitude can be described as the internal conscience and instinct of all human beings. It is also the embodiment of the integrity of our personality. The gratitude of a student to teachers and of a child to parents should be an active emotion that people feel straight from their hearts, rather than a passive action they are required to take. If these students and children are required to express gratitude, they would feel something unnatural deep in their hearts. Gratitude that comes under this kind of effort is undoubtedly distorted, affected, and not a positive emotion.
A well-behaved teacher should never make his or her students feel like being they are indebted to the teacher, because it is his or her duty to impart knowledge to the students. Similarly, parents should never ask for any kind of reward from their children because raising children is both their nature and legal obligation. Of course, it is justified for teachers and parents to instruct their students and children to feel grateful to third parties who have ever helped them.
These situations lead to many questions about the topic of gratitude. What is the right way to express feelings of gratitude to others? Should gratitude be expressed in language or action? The western way or the eastern way? By cash or gift? To whom should we express our gratitude? Should gratitude be expressed by employees to their employers and by citizens to their government?
Teachers should feel gratified by the good performance of their students, which gives the teachers a sense of accomplishment. Parents should be happy about the healthy growth of their children, which adds more value to their life. Employers should appreciate the hard work of their employees for any business success. Government officials should be grateful to the taxpayers who support them in accordance with the law. In brief, everyone is rewarded while serving others. So, while we express our gratitude to others, our gratitude is reciprocated. Therefore, deliberately advocating and enforcing “the education of gratitude” is no different than violating human nature and ethics.
It is also important to differentiate the concepts of “thanksgiving” and “gratitude.” Some experts believe that the lack of gratitude education is the reason why people do not like to say “thank you” to each other. “Thank you” is an expression of courtesy, while “gratitude” is a sense of indebtedness held in our minds. If parents do not say “thank you” to their children, they could not expect their children to say it to them. If teachers do not think they need to say “thank you” to their students, it might be difficult for them to hear the same from their students.
Western people say “thank you” whenever they are helped. The Chinese people, however, often feel too shy to say “thank you,” particularly among those who do not speak Mandarin and have received little education. Therefore, to teach children and students to express gratitude, it is necessary first to teach the parents and teachers to do so. When people of every age and social status feel very natural saying “thank you” to each other, it would be easier to create the atmosphere of a harmonious society.
When it comes to social issues in China, some experts ascribe the apathy everywhere to the lack of gratitude education. However, it is hard to say who is supposed to express gratitude and who should receive it in our present situation. Currently, the income gap is huge, most people cannot even afford housing with their life savings, and their basic health is endangered by unsafe food and water.
How should people express their feelings of gratitude? Growing up in good health as a child, learning with progress as a student, working hard as an employee, and serving the people heart and soul as an official could be some examples. However, all of these things can be done independently of any sort of advertising because these are basic duties that people should perform in their respective social roles.
Some teachers advocate gratitude education while neglecting the traditional education of moral and ethics. Their ultimate purpose is but to improve their personal profile and gain more commercial interest by making speeches around the country and cheating innocent students.
Modern Chinese society is a crass business world. What is mostly needed is not gratitude, but “love” and “dedication” as well as “justice” and “fairness.” Those who really deserve to be thanked are the ones who serve the society without expecting reward, fame or profit.
Back to work. Bye for now!
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